A damsel in distress.

Syawal has left us. But still, I have two more houses to go too. All in all, it's been a great month. Though, many many things have happened. Some were nasty some were happy things. I am glad I went through all of it. I got to know people's true colors. And I figured out the answers to the toughest questions in life. I may not be the smarty pants in school, I may not be Miss-Know-It-All, I may not win in everything, I may not be right in everything, I may not have the best words but at least, I have learned a lot in life and I am much mature in all aspects. And I have more pride and dignity and I have a big heart to top it all. I've forgiven things and I have gotten over things. A lot of things. Like what Kak billa wrote in her blog, I'm a little something, unlike you. 


I understand the meaning of changes. I understand the meaning of changing. I understanding the meaning of many words associated with life. But I don't understand the meaning of hurting others. Be it when it comes to family, friends, even outsiders. Why must people hurt other people ? I was once so close to some people, but things changed, we drifted apart, and we are no longer the people we used to be. At least, I thought I was still who I was before, but things still changed. I admit, I've made many many mistakes, uncountable mistakes. I know and I am aware of it. But I guess, no matter how hard I try making things to work out, things will still turn ugly in the end. So, I've stopped trying and I no longer want to try. I've given up and I just don't care anymore. No more trying and no more crying.


I think, I've found the happiness I want and the happiness that I need in life. I don't think I need to go back to the place I was before to be happy. I think I can be happy just the way I am now. This is the weird thing in life. Even if you feel so shitty, like you just wanna die and go far far away, at the end of everything, if you have the right people around you, you will always go back to normal again, you will always feel happy again. Believing in Allah is important. It's the number one key to being happy. Believing that you have your family around you all the time is important too, it's the second thing you'll always have to remember. Trusting them is compulsory because they will feel your trust too. Believing in yourself is a must. I can't explain but it's just a must. We are who we are. Forever, and always.