Note to self #1 Take things positively.

You know the feeling when you're in a midst of a problem, you just feel like there's gonna be no tomorrow and like there's just no end to these problems when actually you're only involved in this one small problem ? I used to feel that way a lot. I feel like my whole world has come crashing down on me and I'll just cry all night long pouring all my sadness into a big pail. Its good you know, to cry, to let your heart out. But then in this life, everything has a limit. The sky is the limit. So at a certain point you would need to stop and move on with your life. Sometimes you even feel like nobody understands you cause they're telling you to relax and calm down and stuff. We should actually listen to other people's advise and try to sober down.

At first when I myself am caught in troubles like this, I always feel like lifes just so troublesome and complicated. Is life really like that ?

Well to me, now that is. I've come to terms with lifes troubles, issues and dramas. Think of it on the brighter side. Everyone has problems. And some might face even bigger problems than these that I'm facing. And that everyone feels the way you feel but how can they be so calm and go all coolios about it ? If they can do it, so can I, right ?

Life is filled with beautiful and such amazing colors.

You should look real deep and think about what you really want in life. People come people go. Troubles come and they'll just fade away sooner or later. All I'm saying is life has just way too much too offer. Look thoroughly. Look into the mirror and see your own flaws before asking others to change. Just enjoy life.

You'll be surprised.
Kbye :)

the trouble with love is.. there should be no trouble to it.

A big HAHA to me, please. I deserve to be laughed at, right at this very moment. Please to say that I am very much confuse right now. With everything to be precise. Everything seems so wrong. I guess everything happens for a good reason. Though I feel like crying out so loud and just shouting out the so-called pain inside of me, I am grateful that this all happened. I guess, I cannot deny the fact that this issue could possibly crop up again anytime soon but then, at this point of time this particular issue will remain in my thoughts til I have the time to re-think about what has been done.

I don't wish for whatever I wished before because come to think of it, hoping for feelings to be easily captured by other people, hoping for thoughts to be easily fathomed, hoping for mood swings to be easily understood is just impossible. I am just so sick and tired of all this. I always fall back into this kind off situations. No matter how much I try to run away, I can never succeed. I tend to lose even more at the end of everything. Which is unfair on my side, but still nothing can be done.

Really, I am so fed up. I feel like screaming my lungs out to a cat. Seriously. No kidding.

I feel stupid, seriously dumb and stupid. For actually thinking that something positive could possibly come out of all this. Silly silly me. This is all just not worth it. Its extremely a waste of time and a waste of energy. I just have to let it all out. I have to say what I feel. I have to make sure nothing more is kept inside. I have to make sure of this. I guess, I'm still confused with myself. I know, I know everything happens for a reason. It sounds remarkably simple, but its not as simple as that. Saying it is easier than dealing with it. Its just much more complicated. 

I need a break.
Maybe, I need a break from the world. I'll try living in my shell and I'll try not to come out. I'll only come out when I need too. Yes, I'll try doing that. At least, just to please myself. At least, doing that won't hurt me. At least, doing that seems fair enough. At least, I can still try to make amends with my heart.

At least, I am trying.

kbye.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Sugar is Sweet, I'm sure You are too.

Saturday went out perfectly. I had the time of my life. Definitely a day I will never EVER forget. Shall remain in my thoughts for as long as I shall live. I hope my friends and cousins that attended this gathering had fun, as much as I did too. And for those who did not make it, it's alright. But I wished you could have been there. We snapped loads and loads of pictures. And just imagine how many cameras were there on that very day, hehe. I'm glad mostly everyone made it. Alhamdulillah syukur, it all went great. I don't know why but blogger seems to not want to upload my pictures. I'll upload them some other time then.

K, moving on.

I'm quite speechless and confused with myself right now. What I feel and what I think surely are not on the same page. And truthfully, I find it hard to believe my instincts right now. How I wish it wasn't this hard. And how I wish words were easily understood and emotions and feeling were easily captured and known to others. How I wish Life was a little easier and much more accommodating. How I wish other people's thoughts were much much easier to fathom. How I wish mood swings were much easier to decipher. How I wish everything flows according to me. 

Too bad, Life is not as easy as that. 

It is not as easy as one, two, three or a, b, c. If it was that easy, I'm sure I wouldn't be cracking my head trying to absorb whatever I learn in school and in Tuition. And I surely won't have these eyebags conquering my eyes. But I guess, going through all this at this age is a blessing in disguise for me. I may not see the wonders it can bring me later in life at this point of time but I'm sure it will benefit me someway, somehow. 

I just hope things will go out fine. I just hope I'll be able to make amends with my broken heart. 

And I just hope I'll be able to stand on my own two feet, bravely and successfully one fine day.

I seal this post with a smile and a big Thank You.

With love,

kthanksbye.

- lets make new memories.

 

Tired of feeling offended by what people say or do. So be it. I just couldn't care less. They have their rights to do so, so let them be. There's nothing left to say. 

But seriously, just grow up alright.

iloverob, kthanksbye.

And we crawl.

 - please, just cut it out.

 

What's in the past remains in the past. I have no intention, not even a little, to go back into the past and re-do what has been done. Cause, what's done is done. Cause it's just not worth it. All I'm trying to do now, is to just mend the holes. And I'm sincere. Just, stop thinking of the worse that could happen cause seriously, I DO NOT want to repeat the same mistakes again. I'm so tired of being treated like I'm some kind of a pest or something. Mind you, I'm not some kind of a toy you can play around with. Seriously, try to take things positively and stop thinking that the whole world revolves around you. And the world does not depend on you for it to move.

Bored of thinking about this. It's my time now. Not yours. 

So just, give me a break. And grow up ! And what's with the 'kerek'-ness ? I just can't seem to fathom you. You're all so unpredictable and so full of wonders. Mostly weirdness.

Aside all this dilemma, I am so excited. Can't wait for Saturday, teehehee. Really hope, things will go on smoothly and perfectly. 

So again, get a grip of yourself, alright. Best of luck, mate.

With Love.

Robert Pattinson ROCKS my SOCKS !

We've been so far down, we can touch the sky.

Hello, hello World.

Its been so so long. I don't really miss you though. Been busy. With a truckload full of homework. It's never-ending really, pfft. Life's been okay. On and off it gets a little bumpy here and there. But heck, don't really matter no more actually. I think as much as I hate admitting it, I have outgrown myself in many ways.

I have to say my personal life has been a little blank off late. With the dilemmas, the dramas. It looks so like 90210. heh. But whatever with that, truthfully I couldn't care less. Anyways, I don't need an answer from you no more. You're like this bombshell that came out of no where. Thought you could be my saviour or something, turns out you made me realize so many things. Things that  I could not realize on my own. I thank you for that.

Really. I am. Thankful.

In some ways or another I am. I don't care, really I don't.

And so, life still has to go on.

I've been so busy, I didn't even realize my eyebags are getting worse. Plus, I've gained weight. Okay, mama's gonna disagree on this totally but this is so, not good. I have and I must at least try to reduce weight and cut down on oily food. But frankly speaking, i find food just so mesmerizing and irrevocably tempting.
Food. Food. Food.

Alright, I wanna go and eat my cake.

I love Rob, bye.