It feels like the sky just blocked away the stars

Time flies by really really really fast. It just feels like I just turned two yesterday. And today, it's only a few days til pmr. And i can feel the butterflies in my tummy. And i'm not prepared, yeay. Heh. And now i'm in so many dilemmas. And i just don't know how to handle em'. And i really need a shoulder to cry on. Too much pressure on my shoulder right now. And everything seems so blurry and it doesnt look right. And everything's just too hard to comprehend now and it gets worse day by day. Been asking God for help. For a sign, anything. I just need to know(oh you don't know who you are but some know who i'm talking about). Please. Okay, that is all for a session with farah and her mindless musings. Wish me luck.

never found a love like this

I'm going back to my home-sweet-hometown tomorrow. And I really can't wait. Can't wait for the food, can't wait for the excitement that's practically waiting for me there, can't wait to meet up with my dearly beloved cousins and mostly can't wait to meet my grandparents whom I adore and love so much.

Raya's the season where everything in my life seems to go so peaceful and calm. On the contrary, I can say I wouldn't ever want to ask for anything more besides having the priviledge to spend more quality time with la familia. Oh, i just can't wait to see the outrageously cool fireworks and the tickly feeling i'm gonna feel on Raya's Eve.

Til then,
Farah Nk.

- i have to tell you that... I.. I'm gonna.. Miss you. LoL.

and i hate how much I love you

Bam Bam BOOM !

okay updated, bye.

it ends tonight, it ends tonight

Oh, and before i forget.
It's all just wrong. Plain wrong.
I want it the right way.
Who doesn't ?
But, I'm sick and tired if it has to be this way all the time.
There's no point lingering around something that is just never going to happen.
No point at all.
It's just worthless, pointless, mindless and pathetic.
But still, I can't.
I just can't. I'll keep lingering and loitering around.
Just in case, something good happens.
Who knows ? No one knows.
I can just hope. And hope. And hope.
Til the last tear I could possibly shed.

HAHAHA.
Dramatic enough ? This is my last post.
This time, it's truly and irrevocably true. And so, this is my last post.
Forgive me but it has to be a lil dramatic since the gonna be the last.
For a while that is.

Some might know the truth behind these lines, though it still means nothing but preferably something and also maybe just nothing.

a beginning to an end

This is the very moment that I really am NOT looking forward to, AT ALL. Where everything is drawing near and the ONLY time where my mind goes ALL tied upp and not to mention HAYWIRE. And this is all because of Penilaian Menengah Rendah. PMR is like only THREE WEEKS and I am so not sure whether I am well-prepared to face the big day. Raya is just a week away and it sure feels a bit mellow this year. To me that is. I love Raya, It's the best celebration I could ever ask for besides birthdays. But... It just doesn't feel right celebrating Raya two weeks before PMR. I don't think I'll be able to enjoy it like I always do. But, the eating part will always be my favourite part during Raya. The food that we can eat, It's like my own personal heaven on earth. And also, gathering with my loved ones. Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and most of all my Awesome - est Cousins. Can't wait for that.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm on a cross road. I really don't know what to believe. I hope it is all true. I hope it's permanent and not something transitory. I'm done with something that is no genuine. I'll take this risk, off believing that it somehow is true though I don't know whether I am able to believe it or not. And this time, I'll need hope to help me out. But if it turns out differently in the end, I think I'll be okay. It will be another blessing in disguise then. Like always.

BUT,

Gladly, I am proud to say that this time I am really going to abandon my blog temporarily due to Pra-PMR and PMR that is drawing near. I have to put 1001% of my effort into it. Like it or not. Yes, like it or not. I have to be serious. It'll take me no where if I don't go all out this time. IF i put in more effort I'm very sure I can pull it off. Hopefully.

Wish me Luck though. That is like the only thing I need right now, yeah. LUCK.
Heh.

Oh yeah,

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.
Maaf Zahir & Batin.

I have nothing more to say

Through out my fifteen so called long years of living in this world that I can say is pretty much cruel and filled with evilness and pain, I have met so many type of people. I may be fifteen, you can say I'm still young and that I haven't seen the world, It's true but it is also true that I have met many people. All with different personality, behaviour physically and mentally. So in general, there are a few things/personalities/behaviour that I really despise.

• People who just don't seem to know how to appreciate others.
• People who doesn't know how to respect the elderly.
• People, guys mainly who hits girls or talks crudely and rudely to girls.
• People who talks using vulgar words.
• People who think that they're not blessed.
• People who boast here and there, blindly without thinking.
• People who think they're so perfect.
• People who think they are so unfortunate that everyone hates them.
• People who just loves to pick-point on others and blame others for everything.
• People who looks nice but deep within they're just not.
• People who loves playing with other people's thoughts.
• People who gets all emo'ed up easily.
• People who just loves to critisize others and talk bad about others.
• People who have two faces and personality.
• People who just loves to fiddle and mingle around other people's life and pry about other people's life more than theirs.
• People who act immaturely.

I am not perfect. I never was. And i never will be. And, I may be one of these bad-personalities that I have stated up here, who knows. But at least, I don't mind admitting the fact that I may sometimes act immaturely and such. I am human flawed, so it's normal. But some people just don;t seem to know how to change. And i find it really hard to believe and even harder to accept the fact if people cannot seem to respect the elderly. I find this kind of people very ungrateful and just plain pathetic.

I am sorry if some took this post wrongly. I've stated earlier that this is something in general. And I really am not pointing fingers at anybody.

And my appologies if this post sounds a lot like I'm emotionally not okay. Truthfully, I am okay. I just wanted to make my points clear. That's all.

Nothing personal.

Do you remember when we didn't care ?

Been away for quite some time. Busy handling issues, studies and life. You know, I am just so sick and tired of going through the same ol' same crap again and again. It's never ending, i tell you. Despite all that, I'm loving my books more now. And I've been absorbing everything that I've read or studied. Thank God, I'm running out of time. So kudos to me.

This has been my problem since the day i was born. I can never understand people and personalities. Sometimes, it's just so hard for me to accept when people around me starts to change or even when things starts to get all different. But as time flies, I am able to accept all the changes occurring around me. And now, I am good friends with changes. What a big achievement ey ?

I tend to be friends with the wrong people. Trust the wrong people. Fall for the wrong people. Like the wrong people. Say its right when its wrong. Say its wrong when its right. Think about something so hard that I'll get a severe headache at the end of it. Oh, you know. The usuals. I find it really great because every time this problems occur, it will just go away once i step into my favourite place in the entire world, home sweet home, baby. Its like there's this magnetic force at my gate that will pull all my unwanted miseries, away from me. Which is good. So I thank God for all the blessings that I have. I still can't deny the fact that I'll still think about the problems once in a while though.

Some people, we don't need to mention names here. They just don't know how to appreciate people. I've met those type of people. Not many, just a few. But more than enough to create a big hole in my heart. These are the people that I find very hard to fathom. I get along very well with them but to the extend that will make them just leave me like some piece of rubbish some day. Then, in a few months time, they will come running back to me. Asking me how I've been doing and so to speak. But by then, forgive me for saying this, I no longer need you and that very irritating and mindless attitude of yours lingering in my life anymore. While waiting for my recovery from heartbreaks, that's the part where family and supportive friends come in. My family(parents, sibling and cousins)who has always been there for me never the less, helped me and supported me through it all. And friends, who never fail to light up my dark days with jokes, laughter and non-stop happiness. This are the people, I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with. But who am I to talk about the future. But at least, I can still hope and pray that the kind of friendship that I have now are the ones that can be kept til my very last breath. Okay, that's a wee-bit over-rated.

I don't want to dwell on all that's wrong. It's just plain wrong that way. High school consists of things that are transitory minus the fact that examinations are permanent. I'm starting to procrastinate a lot really. Not good, I know. And wonder why I'm filled with paranoia lately. Weird but definitely true.

Lastly before i forget. Things are starting to look clearer now. Everything seems to be happening for a reason though sometimes I myself, can't seem to comprehend.


Still, life has to go on.


Like it or not.