Bobby the apple-head, he left in the end.

I don't really say this much. And I never admit this fact. But, I am so gonna miss my English teacher. I mean, he made English so fun that I have never ever yawned in his classes before. But too bad, his practical period is about to end. And we'll be back to facing reality. And I can imagine the dreadful smell of reality. 

I still remember, the first few weeks of our lessons with our original teacher, she told us we'd be having a new 'trainee' teacher to teach us for four months. I got so tied up about it, thinking I'm so gonna flunk my paper. When actually, he made English fun and enjoyable. At least, it looks and feels that way to me. But eventually everything will come to an end. Everything will come to a stop. He's practical is about to end in a weeks time. And it's gonna be back to square one for us. 

I hope everything's gonna be alright.

I hate it when the school bell rings. Except when it rings during the last period.

If you just realize, what I just realized.

The greatest challenge in life is :

To find someone who knows 

all your flaws, differences and mistakes

yet still loves everything about you.

wish it was as easy as pie.

A lesson or two.

Stop talking in circles.

Stop twisting your words.

 Stop testing me.

Stop trying to prove that I'm so wrong.

Stop all this.

I'm just so sick and tired.

Don't tell me I'm the only one that's vulnerable, impossible.

This feeling, this unexplainable feeling. This feeling, this feeling where you have butterflies in your tummy, you smile all the time, you go nuts about things, you laugh over the silliest joke which happens to be not really funny, you feel like the whole world revolves around you, you feel like flying way up high in the sky and you feel like jumping up and down non-stop. You feel happy.

Happy is good. Happy is awesome. Happy is a feeling we deserve to feel. Being happy is not wrong. You decide when you should be happy. You're the dictator. Screw what others say. You still have to absorb advises though. Just throw away all the negative thoughts about you that others are brainwashing others about. Screw them totally. You're a lot more worthy than their filthy words, believe me.

Life's to short to think of what others have to say. What about what we, ourselves have to say about ourselves. We deserve a chance.
 Just like everyone else. 

Those days.

I miss being a child. I miss running around in circles catching butterflies and laughing my butt off with my mum and dad. I miss sleeping soundly like a baby without any disruptions from people or things. I miss the fact that being a child, we don't have to think of many things but only on how to spend the rest of the day, be it by playing tag with next door neighbors or by playing in the park with this cute boy who is a total stranger to you but you keep playing with him cause he's too cute. I miss those days where I used to drag my pillow all over the house and never wanting to let it out of my sight. I miss getting those toys from people you don't even know but still they buy toys for you cause you're their friend's cute little daughter. I miss not caring about the world and just living in my own shell playing with barbie and ken. I miss barbie and ken and kelly too. I miss kelly's adorable shoes the most. I miss being bullied by my brother, not that I don't get bullied now, its just that it used to be different then. I miss knowing nothing about the world and people.

I miss so many things. I miss mostly everything that I have missed. I miss being young, thats the most. I miss being able to just be me and the fact that I don't have to please nobody but myself. I miss that feeling. I seldom feel that now. Some people they just want us to be someone we're not. Someone we can't be. I tend to be like that too sometimes. But I just miss it.


And mostly, I just miss being naive.

School, school and school.

School is quite cool, you see. I know, I dislike home works too. But then, come to think of it, I actually like school. I just hope that we don't have to wake up so early in the morning and force our butts off to school. How nice would it be if our life is just at the tip of our finger. I mean, It'd be absolutely great if I could just study through the web cam, read through the internet sent by the teacher through email. You know, those things. I just wish that school uniforms are made in a way that looks better, much more presentable, a little bit more elegant but looks very decent and pretty. I also wish that the rules aren't that tight as they are now. Aside all this dislikes that I have, school is still cool. Friends somehow, besides family, they brighten up my day. Though some tend to threaten and bully me an awful lot lately, I don't hate school no more.

I've got chemistry tomorrow and my home work is not even half way done. 
One reason to dislike school.

All over again.

Spiderpig saved me.

You know what,


I don't care now. I don't wanna know. I don't feel like knowing. I don't even wanna care. I don't wanna hear anything anymore. I don't wanna think about this no more. 
I just don't wanna think about it. That's it.


I just.


I wanna be happy. 
Without any interference.


I just wanna live.

So, I'll say this to you.

People are hard to decipher. Same goes to life, it's hard to predict. So, we can never expect what will happen next. Be it, something good, even bad. I'm just sick and tired of trying to understand people. When some, don't try to understand me as well. It takes two to tango. And it takes two, to make something work.

Is it that hard to try ?

Sometimes, you just have to close an eye and leave it be.


I'm tired, so tired of trying.

bobby the apple-head.

Seriously, I'm so easily annoyed these days. I get irritated bloody easily. 

Or, am i the annoying one ?

Change is good, bad. Whatever.

Everyday, some of us, maybe most of us, we go through the same old same thing. The same old routine. Wake up in the morning, take a bath, grab some breakfast, hurry to school, hurry to colleges, hurry to work and even, hurry to the market. I too, do the same thing every single day, without fail. Frankly, it's just pure boredom. 

In short, I want a change in the chain of events that goes on repeat everyday.

I try making a few changes here and there. Altering and mending the schedules of life. But, the harder I try changing, the harder it gets for me to change. It gets to my nerves at times, living under the same room everyday, walking to the same school everyday, wearing the same uniform everyday, it just doesn't feel right. I mean, I am, no doubt about it, happy with my life. I, I'm just tired of going through the same thing. Especially when I have to deal with school work, home works, chores, every single day. 

So, I want a change. Small changes here and there. 

But the hardest thing about changing is, we can never change people. They change their selves, as they please, whenever they want too and just how they want too. The same goes for me, and for everyone else as well. I know, many find me just so hard to fathom, some might even say I am such a complex lady, some might even say, I'm such a snippy person and some might even say that I'm weird. But I don't mind. And I don't think, I'll change these things about me. Cause it's these things that make me feel happy about myself. And its these things that make me, me. This small things about me, that no one but myself understands. 

And these are the things that changes my life everyday.

Changes are good. But you gotta know, when to change, what to change and how to change. You don't just jump off a cliff, when someone tells you too, do you ? Thought so. You would instantly, think of the consequences, before jumping of this cliff. My point is, you should actually think first before proceeding your act. Cause sometimes, changes don't always turn out good.  And changes, might hurt others, it might make you look bad, it can make you look stupid, and it can make you look dumb. 

I'm only sixteen and heck yeah, I have not seen people from each and every corner of the world. People with different personalities, different attitudes, different looks whatsoever, NO, I haven't discovered and I haven't met them yet. But surprisingly, I've known quite a number of people and yet, I've seen numerous personalities and attitudes. Not all of them are pleasing and breath-taking. Some, might just make you feel the need to take a knife and chop their head into pieces. I've known people, who changed drastically. I guess, its due to the drastic weather changes that made this person change. NO, it can't be that. Anyways, I'm not pointing fingers, neither am I judging anyone. I too, am not perfect either. In fact, I'm perfectly flawed and I like it. Mistakes are meant to happen. You just have to realize them in time, for you to change. 


By the way, It's not like you changed because someone told you too.

You wanted this, didn't you ?

best part of my day.

Finally, I get to blog properly. It has been so long. Exams are over. I've even got back my results. It wasn't that good though. But It was okay, except for add maths. Holidays won't really look like holidays. Due to the fact that I'll be having Choral Speaking practices every single day. And tuition too. 

I'm Okay by the way.

Everything seems to be smooth sailing so far. But still, I still find people just so hard to fathom these days. And it just bugs me you know. I'm tired of doing this over and over again. I mean, can't you just try to copromise with other people and not just live as if this world is yours. And not think about how others feel ? I think you have the symptoms of a person with with some kind of selfish-ness disorder. Klah, malas nak fikir, it sickens me more. Bless you mate. 

At least, I don't have that much homework. Alhamdulillah. 

I want to watch Alice in Wonderland. Jom, friends ?

LyRobKBye.

blah

Maybe its true, that I can't live without you. Maybe two, is better than one.
But too bad, I'm just so tired of being your freaking doormat and just being your bloody rebound girl.

It ends here. Unless, a miracle happens.

lets crawl, crawl, crawl, back to love.

I'm feeling great. I'm happy. And I don't want anything more beesides, better grades, new clothes and a few thousand dollars, that is also if I'm not asking too much. Watched zombieland earlier today, in school during English. Continued te movie as soon as I reached home. Superbly funny, I tell you. 

My mood's not really in blogging right now. i'll be back soon.

Kbyeilyrob.

fee-fii-fooo-fumm.

Exams ! Loathe that word. Don't really wanna talk about it.

I somehow feel like moving to tumblr. Perhaps I will.

I hate sarcasm. I hate sarcasm. Stop with the sarcasm. It does not suit you. Don't you realize that ? Say NO to sarcasm.

Kbyelyrob.