Exams are like what ? A month away and MY GOD, I am so not ready. Ya Allah, just please give me the strength to go through this selfish life peacefully and patiently. Amin. Sometimes, I just wonder. How much longer will I be able to resist all these downfall and bashing people up and these never-ending dramas. People are selfish, no doubt.
I have to take my studies seriously. I have to start considering about my future. To start looking at it in a much more serious view and to stop goofing around. I'm growing older day by day, I'm not getting any younger. So things has got to change after this. I don't even know which carrier path I'd like to be in, later on. I just wish, making a simple decision about this issue would be much more simple. I am a very indecisive person whenever it comes to decision making. I fail miserably at making decisions.
Since its Ramadhan now, I get very tired easily. I sleep in school everyday. The teachers must be real tired too, I suppose. Figures why they seldom teach and only give us truckload of homework. I must also learn to stop complaining about life being so selfish and unthoughtful. I should also not procrastinate. I should also stop making drastic decisions.
I wanna enjoy my last year in High School. Somebody please, tell me how on Earth do I loosen up ?
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
If you fall for me, I'm not easy to please.
I am egoistic, weird and simple. People think I'm complex because I rarely share my thoughts and stories. I am a reserved person. I only open up to people I am used too and to the people who are used to me. I speak in a way that not many understand, but I don't speak monkey. Words represent me in a way or two, someway somehow.I don't usually hate but when I do, I think the world will somehow stop and stare at me in confusion and in surprise. Because I seldom hate. I only dislike. See the difference ?
Other than that, I love my family. They're the best part of my life. The important one and the ones that play the biggest role in my life. They're just my all. My daily routine is to write, somehow I just never post it. I keep it to myself, only for me to read and to ponder on. When it comes to drawing, I am nonetheless the last person anyone sane will call. I just suck at it. I appreciate sincerity and modesty. Anything that anyone does for me will bear in my mind for as long as I shall live.
I still remember the old me the one that used to be so fragile and vulnerable, I hated it when everyone talked about me behind my back. But with god's will, I always find out when anyone does. Usually it gets to my nerves when someone badmouths me but I guess now, it seems to look like I just couldn't care less. People will keep on talking, throwing nasty comments on you and spitting your name every single day. They'll grow tired one fine day, they just will. At least, that's how I perceive it now. I just believe in karma, I simply do. And I strongly know and believe that what goes around, comes around, goes around and goes all the way back around.
Sometimes, I tend to do things unexpectedly as I believe that you should always expect the unexpected. Usually, when people least expects it. The weird side of me usually shines when I am at the state of blur which happens everyday. I can just stare at a person when they talk without understanding a single thing. Not that I'm proud of it or anything.
You see, I'm much of a straight forward person. I'm not twisted, I just tell things and look at things in a different view and perspective. And to me, humans are all alike. We just differ by our looks, gender, religion, race and personality. Other than that, we're all alike. Humans that are prone to making mistakes and learning from them.
Just for the sake of sharing, the way to my heart is the way to my heart. And the way to my heart is also by indulging my everyday life with good food and accommodating attitude. The kind that I can appreciate and the kind that reciprocates when I talk. The most important value I look for in a person.
Told you, I'm a simple person :)
Other than that, I love my family. They're the best part of my life. The important one and the ones that play the biggest role in my life. They're just my all. My daily routine is to write, somehow I just never post it. I keep it to myself, only for me to read and to ponder on. When it comes to drawing, I am nonetheless the last person anyone sane will call. I just suck at it. I appreciate sincerity and modesty. Anything that anyone does for me will bear in my mind for as long as I shall live.
I still remember the old me the one that used to be so fragile and vulnerable, I hated it when everyone talked about me behind my back. But with god's will, I always find out when anyone does. Usually it gets to my nerves when someone badmouths me but I guess now, it seems to look like I just couldn't care less. People will keep on talking, throwing nasty comments on you and spitting your name every single day. They'll grow tired one fine day, they just will. At least, that's how I perceive it now. I just believe in karma, I simply do. And I strongly know and believe that what goes around, comes around, goes around and goes all the way back around.
Sometimes, I tend to do things unexpectedly as I believe that you should always expect the unexpected. Usually, when people least expects it. The weird side of me usually shines when I am at the state of blur which happens everyday. I can just stare at a person when they talk without understanding a single thing. Not that I'm proud of it or anything.
You see, I'm much of a straight forward person. I'm not twisted, I just tell things and look at things in a different view and perspective. And to me, humans are all alike. We just differ by our looks, gender, religion, race and personality. Other than that, we're all alike. Humans that are prone to making mistakes and learning from them.
Just for the sake of sharing, the way to my heart is the way to my heart. And the way to my heart is also by indulging my everyday life with good food and accommodating attitude. The kind that I can appreciate and the kind that reciprocates when I talk. The most important value I look for in a person.
Told you, I'm a simple person :)
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Pieces of you, pieces of me.
It is already the fourth day of Ramadhan. How time flies. And we don't even realize it. Sometimes, I just wish time would stop all by itself. I'd love to stay at those happy moments in my life. But, life has to go on no matter what. No more how sickening and psychotic it can get, we just keep moving forward. No turning back.
Lately, I've felt this urge at the tip of my tummy. This urge tells me that life is just boring at times. We live the same routine everyday. Sometimes the only thing that differ it from other days is maybe because of the food we eat and the changes we make in our routines. That is if we have any routines to be changed. I feel the need to say that life is boring because sometimes the shit and drama's that you go thru everyday. every week, every month, every year just looks like its the same thing going on repeat. It's as if, it's never ending. It sounds pathetic having to go through it every now and then but that's life.
Okay enough about this. Am getting so tired of justifying my thoughts.
You know, Kimora Lee Simmons ? My goodness. She is, to me, one hell of a goddess. How I wish, I had all the pretty things that she has. The perfect family, a happy family in fact. The absolutely going very very well and established company. The fame, well to me this doesn't really matter but I'm just stating facts. I mean we'll never know how long this things, will go on. Sometimes, in just a blink of an eye, everything can go wrong and just slip through your fingers without us realizing it. But it's okay. I just wish, I can be a successful person like her.
A girl can dream can she ? Dreaming is free anyway, so just leave me be.
Lately, I've felt this urge at the tip of my tummy. This urge tells me that life is just boring at times. We live the same routine everyday. Sometimes the only thing that differ it from other days is maybe because of the food we eat and the changes we make in our routines. That is if we have any routines to be changed. I feel the need to say that life is boring because sometimes the shit and drama's that you go thru everyday. every week, every month, every year just looks like its the same thing going on repeat. It's as if, it's never ending. It sounds pathetic having to go through it every now and then but that's life.
Okay enough about this. Am getting so tired of justifying my thoughts.
You know, Kimora Lee Simmons ? My goodness. She is, to me, one hell of a goddess. How I wish, I had all the pretty things that she has. The perfect family, a happy family in fact. The absolutely going very very well and established company. The fame, well to me this doesn't really matter but I'm just stating facts. I mean we'll never know how long this things, will go on. Sometimes, in just a blink of an eye, everything can go wrong and just slip through your fingers without us realizing it. But it's okay. I just wish, I can be a successful person like her.
A girl can dream can she ? Dreaming is free anyway, so just leave me be.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
A pretty month.
WISHING ALL MUSLIMS, A HAPPY RAMADHAN.
HOPE THIS BEAUTIFUL AND SACRED MONTH BRINGS US MUCH JOY AND HAPPINESS.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Geek in the pink.
I was thinking the other day, about taking up a new language. I've always wanted to take up French as my third language. But then, my dad told me to take up Mandarin as he told me I can go far if I can speak fluent Mandarin. Hmm, well I'm at wits end. I don't know which one I should go for first. I still have a few months before the end of 2010. I guess, by then I have already made up my mind. Oh, and I really really look up to Mahathir Lokman. Seriously, I love the way he speaks. He is someone I would want to meet in the future. Someone to be added on to my list of "people I'd like to meet".
Someone, please help me already !
Someone, please help me already !
I meant all the things that I've said.
I have been so busy that I think I don't even remember if I've shampoo'ed my hair this morning. These past few weeks has been pretty pretty hectic. Explains why I've been gone for a long period of time. Personally, being away from blogger, and all the social networking sites has changed me. In some way or another, I feel that I am more mature than I was before. More mature than the previous post. But I guess 'some things' are still the same. The same dusty ol' same. I'm getting sick and tired of having to deal with this issues, frankly speaking but who am I to say anything. I am always the 'black sheep' to certain people.
Okay enough of that.
I was involved with SMK Seafield's Choral Speaking Team. Where we practiced like shiznit for the competition, the so-called over-rated BIG DAY. But to no avail, our sacrifices certainly did not pay off. We were disappointed. I was devastated. I couldn't get over it for a few days. But, I'm okay now. I took it from a brighter view. At least, we got into the finals ey ? And so I thought I am back to waking up at 6 after the previous competition but I guess my dreams of being able to wake up late has been flushed down the drain, since there will be ONE more competition this Tuesday. I do hope will make it to the next round, Amin :)
Aside all the excitement with Choral Speaking, I had to deal with my studies too. And to make matters worst, my exams were held the same week as the competition. Just tell me how sickening and retarded that made me feel ! I studied. not my butt out, but I studied all that I could, with all my might. And I have to say, my results are better than before. I'm quite satisfied especially with the fact that I did not fail my Additional Mathematics ! That was like just the happiest news anyone has told me in my life. no kidding.
And now, Ramadhan is drawing near, I cannot wait. And 30 days after Ramadhan, we will be celebrating Hari Raya. Talk about awesomeness ! I guess being too hyped and excited about Raya is just not appropriate for the time being. Like what my mama always say "puasa belum habis dah fikir pasal raya". Okay, so no thinking about Raya for now.
Okay, what else.. ?
For a moment, I really thought my life has gone topsy turvy. Everything was wrong, not in place, ugly, disgusting and you name it. I wasn't myself. I felt annoying at the thought of some issues. I hated. I disliked. I loathed. And I vommed over issues. I was a different person. I was not Farah Nadhirah. I was quiet. I rarely talk to anyone other the the ones I was closed too. I just couldn't get over the fact that things have changed, people have changed, and life has changed. I hated every moment of everyday. I was so insecure. I cried a lot. I acted awfully ridiculous and stupid. I acted like a brainless maniac. And after sometime, after a while, after I got used to things, I overcame my fear and got over things. I've realized one thing that I should have realized ages ago that, shit happens and you don't always get what you want in life and that some things and some issues are better off ignored and not worth caring for. Life gets better that way. Life is much easier that way. To close one ear and just keep moving forward. Eventually, all the talking, the hatred, the misunderstandings, the dilemmas will fade away. Cause people will get tired of listening to the same ol' story over and over again. I thank my mum for always being there for me through thick and thin. I can say she is my maiden in shining armor. And a few of my friends that has never failed to help me go thru the difficult moments in my life, even the happy moments in my life. Thank you.
The most important thing now is that, I'm okay and I'm happy.
Good day everyone :)
Okay enough of that.
I was involved with SMK Seafield's Choral Speaking Team. Where we practiced like shiznit for the competition, the so-called over-rated BIG DAY. But to no avail, our sacrifices certainly did not pay off. We were disappointed. I was devastated. I couldn't get over it for a few days. But, I'm okay now. I took it from a brighter view. At least, we got into the finals ey ? And so I thought I am back to waking up at 6 after the previous competition but I guess my dreams of being able to wake up late has been flushed down the drain, since there will be ONE more competition this Tuesday. I do hope will make it to the next round, Amin :)
Aside all the excitement with Choral Speaking, I had to deal with my studies too. And to make matters worst, my exams were held the same week as the competition. Just tell me how sickening and retarded that made me feel ! I studied. not my butt out, but I studied all that I could, with all my might. And I have to say, my results are better than before. I'm quite satisfied especially with the fact that I did not fail my Additional Mathematics ! That was like just the happiest news anyone has told me in my life. no kidding.
And now, Ramadhan is drawing near, I cannot wait. And 30 days after Ramadhan, we will be celebrating Hari Raya. Talk about awesomeness ! I guess being too hyped and excited about Raya is just not appropriate for the time being. Like what my mama always say "puasa belum habis dah fikir pasal raya". Okay, so no thinking about Raya for now.
Okay, what else.. ?
For a moment, I really thought my life has gone topsy turvy. Everything was wrong, not in place, ugly, disgusting and you name it. I wasn't myself. I felt annoying at the thought of some issues. I hated. I disliked. I loathed. And I vommed over issues. I was a different person. I was not Farah Nadhirah. I was quiet. I rarely talk to anyone other the the ones I was closed too. I just couldn't get over the fact that things have changed, people have changed, and life has changed. I hated every moment of everyday. I was so insecure. I cried a lot. I acted awfully ridiculous and stupid. I acted like a brainless maniac. And after sometime, after a while, after I got used to things, I overcame my fear and got over things. I've realized one thing that I should have realized ages ago that, shit happens and you don't always get what you want in life and that some things and some issues are better off ignored and not worth caring for. Life gets better that way. Life is much easier that way. To close one ear and just keep moving forward. Eventually, all the talking, the hatred, the misunderstandings, the dilemmas will fade away. Cause people will get tired of listening to the same ol' story over and over again. I thank my mum for always being there for me through thick and thin. I can say she is my maiden in shining armor. And a few of my friends that has never failed to help me go thru the difficult moments in my life, even the happy moments in my life. Thank you.
The most important thing now is that, I'm okay and I'm happy.
Good day everyone :)
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