it ends tonight.

Life is not always pretty with rainbows and always great. Even Edwards's life weren't all that pretty.
Cause that's what makes life beautiful. But in the end, ill still be your freaking doormat.
How pathetic. But whatever. I couldn't care less.

I heart Rob, bye.

He likes me, he likes me not.

I know I've posted about New Moon earlier on. But this is, a proper post. I really have to say this ; I know I've said it more than once. And I know people might think "God, hasnt she got anything better to do rather than talk about this and only this? man, you're so annoying.". But do bear with me for the time being. It's a phase a normal teenage girl would face in her lifetime. I am head over heels for this guy up here, yup you've guessed right, Robert Pattinson. And how I really wish someone like Robert Pattinson, yes Rob not Edward really does exist in this place where I live that happens to be called planet Earth. Not that I don't like Edward though Robert is literally Edward in some ways. Okay fine, how I wish i want the both of them. How I wish someone like that really does exist. He doesn't have to be as perfect as Edward is. Alright, you get the whole picture. 

But then, as we all know, it is fairly impossible for something like this to happen. Cause even mama said that maybe guys like Edward/Robert only exists maybe one in a million. And entirely impossible for something like that to happen to me. Oh but well, If it was meant to be it was. And it will happen to me someday. Hopefully. I'm in no rush anyway.

Okay but so, I really really realy do like him. he's not that all mushy, he's sweet and adorable in his own way. and he loves toussling his hair which I find really really cute and uber hot and awesome. He makes me smile a lot. And my dad's getting pretty annoyed with me talking and talking about how beautiful and perfect robert is. I guess that's just how it is and that is just how it will be for a long time. I truly, no doubt adore him.

xxxxx
<3

When i say i love Rob Patz, trust me i mean it.

Seriously people, you have to watch new moon. Its worth every single cent u spend to buy the tickets.
And to me, it was a blast ! I love watching twilight, I've watched it for 35 times and I was never bored with it.
But then, new moon is so much better. The people in it, the action, the romance, it was the bomb.
And robert pattinson/edward is just the best. And boy, I am so in love with him. All over again.
Taylor lautner/jacob, wow he's a bombshell too. His just sweet and adorable and he definitely has a hot body. But I'm more to edward/rob though.
Not only do I love edward, I love Robert too. In the movie and in reality I mean, like seriously. And I will watch the movie again and again after this til Eclipse comes out.
I cried a lot too, my mum was so annoyed by me I think. I made a lot of noise. With all the awws and the crying and I love you's I made.

But seriously, I am a die hard fan of the twilight saga and Robert Pattinson and everything that has got to do with the twilight saga.
Call me crazy, cause seriously I am crazy. Crazy for him and the movie.
Hahaha.

<3

vampire, me, wolf and me.

November 24th, a very very very very importante date for me and all twilight lovers. And guess what people, I've bought the tickets ! Woohoooooo ! But it's rated as 18pl, wonder why Finas rated it as and eighteen and above movie. Its not like there are any bad scenes in it. I will never understand the culture in Malaysia anymore. Plain weird, ya know.
But whatever with that. By hook or by crook, I will and I must enter the cinemas to watch them. I'm going nuts. Been watching E! Like a lot a lot lately. Just hope, I won't get caught screeming all the way through out the movie, haha.
Mama's dying to watch it too. She even took the day off to watch it with moi. Thanks ma. So, will update soon.
Oh, and I'm watching the first show. Not to brag, I'm just over excited. Haha.

CAN'T WAIT !!!!! :)

i miss you like crazy, every minute of everyday.

I can't seem to get you out of my mind. This is not normal. This is weird. This is just so freaking weird. And I don't like it. I miss you. Rob, I miss you. Please, New Moon come quick !

As time passes by.

I've realized that friends play a big role in our lives. Apart from our family, friends are always there too. You just have to look at it thoroughly to make them part of your lives. 
So, today was a well-spent day. I had heaps of fun. Snapping 'priceless' photographs with Alia's Slr, lying to Alia about the reason we were loitering around Parade like a mindless and lifeless lunatic(she trusted me all the way, hahahaha), celebrated he early birthday celebration with half-a-cake at Secret Recipe and most of all, camwhoring like a bunch of fifteen year old teenage girls trying to just have fun. So, bear with us okay. It won't kill any of you to do so. But I guess, I screwed my day a little when I just got so sad for no reason. Okay, there is a reason but I don't owe anyone an explanation, so who cares.

And Here Are The Pictures ;

I had fun :)

According to me.

- It's as if I'm waiting lifelessly, for a stunted tree to grow.

My big crush on fashion is starting to get very bad. I switch on my laptop every single day just to see what's in and what's out in fashion. Yes, everyday. And Rock Music is my thing now. And Ballad too. Two very very different genres but still, they're awesomely great. 

My brother's on his study leave now. So, he accompanies me at home. It's great you know. Given time to spend some quality time with the ones we love. Haha. I've been bugging him a lot. He bullies me just too much, so that's what you get when you bully me.

I like the quote mama found in the internet ;

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

I'm not perfect, I guess that makes me happy. No, I am happy.
 :) 

Saw you from a distance.

I really don't know why, but I'm getting lazier and lazier as time passes by. Blame the disease I'm suffering with right now. Yeap, you've guessed well. BOREDOM. Strikes me every single day. And surprisingly, I ONLY complain right when the clock strikes twelve every single day. Weird much. 
And I'm starting to feel lazy writing long boring posts. Mine are always boring. Never interesting. That's probably the reason why I've been on hiatus. 

Last but not least, I will update when something FUN crops up. The fun might start after Friday. Hope so.

- tired of thinking, tired of waiting, tired of hoping, tired of forgetting, tired of everything. i just need answers.

maybe it's just me.

" Sometimes, the best thing to do is to hug each other for one last time and just let go. "

...

yeah, maybe that's the best. on some circumstances.

wait a minute.

" So, I'll hold it in 'til my heart can mend and be brave enough to love again. "

...

You see, I envy them A-listers celebs. Forget about how rich, Heidi Klum is and stuff. Just take a look at Suri Cruise. She gets to buy shoes that costs $659, dresses that costs $225, jackets that costs $109 or maybe more, who knows. She even wears Jimmy Choos, Christian Louboutin and all the other designers that you could possibly think of. Plus, she has over 130 pairs of shoes and she has staff to dress her up ! 

Okay, I got too carried away. But whatever with that, I need more money. I want more money. I have to have more money. Oh, help me please ? Pretty please ?

Oh, And.

I need help, I miss Rob so much !

I'll stand up with you forever.

" But in the end, all that matters is how I really feel. 

And not what others think. 

And also for me to stand up and learn to make my own decisions. 

But still, I am at wits end thinking and thinking of the right thing to do. "

you just don't know how hard it is for me to come up with these answers.

three in one.

Firstly, the movie, " Michael Jackson, This Is IT " is definitely an awesome movie. I know I am quite outdated but I just forgot to make a review on that movie. Michael's a great man, definitely the exact same person his fans potrait him as.


Secondly, " Phobia 2 " was okay. I prefer the first one more though. But, I guess it was okay.


Last but not least, 2012.. Hmm, well at first I didn't want to watch this movie as I was afraid. Thinking that maybe the end of our days would really be the same as in the movies. But, in the end, I did watch it. And boy, the movie was brilliant. Minus the fact that it really wasn't the end of the world. But still, I cried through out the movie which means that the movie was really really good. Cause usually I only cry when the movie is really good and all. To me that is.

an exit sign behind the door

"There are a thousand and one things I would love to say,

but I guess I will let go and just let time be the judge."

That's more than enough, for now.

Down.

I'm seriously addicted to this song, is this normal ?

fo-shizzle,hahaha.

Ares is seriously acting like a junkie right now.
Junkie as in a drug addict, yeah that junkie.

pfft.

little black dress.

I'm seriously obsessed with fashion.

Coco Chanel's an awesome person. Wish I could go to Paris and start a clothing line.

Dream on Farah, dream on.

 

idols.

I find the both of them real pretty and very inspiring. They're young and very successful at the same time, they're good role models. And that's something that you cannot find easily these days. 

I'm down with fever now. But I'm a lot better right at this very moment. The fever has gone away, but the flu hasn't and it's really annoying cause your nose gets all stuffed up and blocked and you're not able to breathe normally and your head is very heavy and you're unable to move normally and yeah, you get the picture. 

I can't wait for new moon, I miss Rob so much already.

a day to remember.

Overall, today was satisfying and really really beneficial. 

Went to Syakila's house for a baking session with my friends. 

Everyone was there apart from Malisa. It was fun.

We were paired into groups that consists of two people, some three. 

I teamed up with Aishah. I don't have the picture of our creations, but it looked kinda good.
Aishah's creations were more to the 'elegant' side while mine was just plain and simple.
And my, it was fun ! Hahaha.

And the picture above shows all our effort and all our creations. 

Don't need anyone
Standing in my sun
Don't need that anymore. 

mac and cheese.

I am craving for chocolate chip cookies from famous amos and many many bars of hershey's cookies and cream chocolate bars.
Hmm, got any ?

love comes around and then it knocks you down.

I wonder how it feels like to be in love ?
Okay wait .. Why am I even talking about love ?
I guess I get too attached to a particular movie/drama that I watch, I sometimes just want to be in it.
For instance, at the beginning, I really wanted to be okay I forgot her name but I just wanna be the mandy moore from a walk to remember minus the part that I was diagnosed for leukimia and I died in the end and than I came across many other movies and then finally, I desperately wanted to be isabella swan in twilight. And now, I really want to be geum jan di in boys over flowers.
And I don't really want to move on, not just yet.

So, how does it feel to be in love, with an actual person, in reality ?

oh hey, I'm a dork.

I'm so bored right now. I feel sleepy that I think I should start counting sheeps but my eyes just don't seem to want to close. And here I am typing away at midnight while humming to some soft tunes played by the radio.
I guess ill start by writing a few random things about me.

- I love backstreet boys and n'sync a lot.
- I love trying out new things, food especially. Give me anything and ill surely eat em'.
- I have this crazy addiction with romantic comedy movies.
- When I was young, I really wanted to dye my hair pink. I don't know why.
- I love to dance though I pretty much suck at it.
- I am a sucker for quotes. I can spend the whole day just by googling anything that has to do with quotations by famous and infamous people.
- I love weddings. I love looking and admiring the setting of the place. Not all weddings, just some.
- I don't mind people talking bad about me. Its their life, so who cares ?
- I am very very unstable. I wobble a lot especially when I walk.
- When I have a boyfriend someday, in the future I would one someone who appreciates and someone who accepts me as I am.
- I hate to move on and to begin a new chapter in life. That was before, I've surprisingly outgrown myself.
- I used to cry a lot. I don't really cry that easily now. I guess that'sn good ?
- I make sure my environment is clean or else the rest of the day will be filled with moodswings.
- I think ill stop now.

-'when something ends in life, something else will begin'-

the rocker.

I'm in love with this guy up here. 

Aside the fact that I am in love with the Korean actors. 

Sheesh, what a dilemma.

meet me halfway.

I feel insanely alive. And I do not know why, I'm full-spirited today. And yeah, I'm happy. To hell with the past. Embracing the future is much, much, much better.

Plus, I've been jumping round a lot lately accompanied by the awesome tunes the playlist plays for me. As corny as this may sound, music reflects my life a lot. Each and every song in my playlist signifies something in my life. Be it something sad, or something happy. Everything seems to have a suitable song. Every emotion, every scene and every memory.

I have also realized that this year, well it has not been the best year of my life, yet but it sure was a hell of a year. I mean with all the PMR excitement, the part where people just break and enter your life, and just disappear in a blink of an eye, the Korean drama craze, meeting new people, making new friends, learning more and more about life and you just name it. I can't wait for 2010, but no goals for next year but to only enjoy life and making full use of each and every minute of everyday.

Life is too short to worry about.

Haha, right.

never gone, never far

I used to think that soulmates don't ever exist. That the word, when used is just way over-rated and only a term to emphasize a person's feelings when truly maybe the person saying it, don't really mean it. Maybe cause most probably I may be wrong. And anyway who am I to talk about love. Never been there yet. Too young, I suppose. And I no longer believe in High School Love though my parents were together since form five. Okay fine, I do believe in it, just that I find that I never get even close to it. Cause once it's near me, it'll just run away like that, in a blink of an eye. And my so called sweet memories from the past, truly are not clear in my mind anymore. They're just vague thoughts that I really want to forget because sometimes, when I'm all alone it all just comes back to me. It's not that I regret anything that has happened before. As far as I am concerned, I don't have any regrets aside from one thing that I regret the most and that is studying at the very last minute when PMR is just weeks away.
Oh well, I guess I just have to endure it. It's not that hard, actually. Easy-peasy-you're-cheesy-maneesy.

Haha.

its the remedy

Seriously, I feel incadascently(however you spell it) lifeless right now. Akibat tido for three long hours petang tadi, time time ni yang selalunya, I'd be dreaming away tapi too bad, mata terbeliak lagi nii and starring away at the clean white ceiling.
I do not know, what awaits me in my agenda book tomorrow ? I guess I'd be staying in, completing unfinished chores, watching dvd's and possibly just wasting my time. Kesian kan ?
I can't go out, my dad takbagi. So, that pretty much explains a little of everything.

Hikmah post ni, occupy your time wisely by doing beneficial things and don't be like me.

P.S : I seriously don't wanna be a couch potato.

baby, you're going down, down, down, down, down.

I realized the fact that I have been abandoning my blog for quite some time. Nothing came to mind everytime I signed on to Blogger.com. It's pretty pathetic, I tell you. I guess I look at my blog in a different look now. I find it extremely boring and yeah, boring. I don't want to delete my blog, and neither do i want to delete all the posts. So, I think I should somehow change a few things here and there. Whatever with that.

Ever felt the adrenaline rush ? It's like the blood flowing through your bloodstream just gushes in you giving you chills right down your spine. And in a minute or two, the rush just fades away ? I like that feeling. I don't know why. But maybe cause I like it so much, I don't usually get these adrenaline rush.

My point of posting some thing up on this dark, chilly, warm night is so to just say, I loathe cyberspace a lot now. Even words cannot seem to interpret how i actually feel right at this very moment. Cyberspace is fun, no doubt but still, it causes trouble. And it creates dilemmas in people's mind just at the right point of time where you actually want to have a time for yourself. When I say, cyberspace creates trouble, what I meant really was, when we actually discover unexpected things from it. I'm speaking based on my own experience. And I really think, dissociating ourselves from cyberworld or just taking some time off, is really a must. To detoxify all the unwanted emotions or feelings that we tend to feel.

But I'm fine really. I always am. And hopefully, will always be. After all, I am still human. Perfectly flawed and life always filled with boundaries and obstacles that I seem to face every day, like it or not, yes like it or not. But in the end, this itsy witsy problems that bug you at times, they don't really matter to anyone else but ourselves. And it's my life anyway, so who cares ?